There’s stuff we can control and stuff we can’t. My job as a coach is to focus people on the things they can control. All the other stuff doesn’t really matter. But you are responsible for all the things you can control.

Sometimes it might take a bit of a helping hand (usually from someone like myself) to give you some strategies and tactics that work for others – but we cannot do it for you. You are responsible for the action.


When I work with a client, one of the first things I try to determine is where they currently are.

What is their life like? When do they work? What holds them back? What do they enjoy? What is their family life like? What is their social life like?

Generally they don’t go to the gym regularly and their diets need some work. So we come up with a plan and agree on goals that will help them lose weight and become fitter. Agreeing upon the plan together is important – I see it like a verbal contract – you both know what work needs to be done and will strive to get there.

All of these action points are processed based and look a little like this:

– 3 x exercise sessions a week (taking into account injuries, weaknesses and personal preferences)

– Calories/protein targets/some structured diet protocol (although we usually don’t get to this for a couple of weeks)

When this plan is agreed upon, all I care about is the execution. I judge people based on whether they do the things they said they were going to do.

Have they ticked the boxes? Did the work get done?

If yes, then results will come and the more time these action points get done, the better progress you get.

If no, then why not?

And here is where I know whether someone will succeed or not.


What makes someone successful at this game is responsibility.

If a person blames their working life, social life, family or the weather (yep! snow days are crazy for excuses) then it’s clear that they aren’t going to learn from their mistakes.

This sort of person may even ask questions like ‘why can they do it but I can’t?’ as if they believe there’s a magic discipline fairy that grants wishes to the lucky other people. You’ll also find this person saying that slim people are so lucky and find it so easy…

Not true.

You may believe things that just aren’t true. Beliefs are what drive us and if you believe you’ll never lose weight. Guess what, you won’t lose weight.

If you believe that pain is inevitable in the gym, then you’ll stop yourself from achieving your goals because of this belief.

If you have beliefs that limit you and you don’t challenge them. It’s just not going to happen.


So how can we take responsibility and then get better results?

1) Accept you messed up and control your actions in the future.

Everybody messes up. It’s easy to get defensive and lash out at people but you can control how you respond. Be honest with why you messed up?

Were you not prepared enough?Did you justify actions in your head with flimsy excuses? Are you just not prepared to do those things?

What do you need to do better?

2) Re-adjust.

Don’t wait til next Monday to start again. Do it now. If certain aspects of the plan need changing? I.e. you need to do less workouts and because of less movement you need to adjust the nutrition.. then agree that with your coach and get it done.

3) Learn.

Promise yourself that you aren’t going to let these things happen again. When you repeat mistakes, you’re reinforcing habits. Have the self-respect to make a promise to yourself and keep it.

Once you start taking responsibility and doing what you say you’re going to do… results will skyrocket!

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